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Self-Assessment Survey

Taking this short survey will give you insight into your readiness for the challenges that can emerge through the Shadow Wedding process. Do your best to answer "Yes" or "No" to the following statements:

  1. My partner triggers me in ways that I understand are helpful for my growth (even if I don’t like it!).
  2. When we argue, we find a way to repair what has been ruptured and bounce back without major repercussions (e.g., threats of leaving, punishing the other, prolonged bouts of hopelessness).
  3. I can become worried or concerned about some aspects of my partner, but I know that these parts are not all of who they are.
  4. I believe I have chosen a partner who can help me become the best of who I am.
  5. I trust myself to take good care of myself within my relationship.
  6. I am satisfied with my communication skills and those of my partner.
  7. Overall, I feel safe with my partner.
  8. I believe that acknowledging the shadow sides of life can bring about greater freedom and more aliveness in myself and in my relationship.
  9. Although this notion may terrify me, I am willing to end my relationship if I come to understand that our separation will ultimately bring the greatest truth and best chance for our individual happiness.
  10. When I think of the idea of a Shadow Wedding, something inside me says, “Yes!”


If you answered "Yes" to less than 3 of these statements:
A Shadow Wedding ritual is probably not right for you at this time. You may find yourselves overly challenged during this process.

If you answered "Yes" to 4–6 of these statements:
A Shadow Wedding ritual may be right for you. If you're feeling drawn to do this work, yet your survey results are lower than you'd like, consider contacting us. We are available to provide support if you wish to explore the reasons you didn't score higher.

If you answered "Yes" to 7 or more of these statements:
A Shadow Wedding ritual is likely a good fit for you. To take the next step, take a look at the Support and Pricing page.

From a Shadow Wedding witness:

"If more marriages undertook a Shadow Wedding ceremony, divorce rates would plummet! Couples would really see and know each other, and drop their unrealistic expectations.

"Jessica and Jim bring integrity, love, and a breadth of experience to this work. I recommend them wholeheartedly."

Sabrina Chaw, woman's empowerment and wellness coach