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Shadow Wedding Basics

After an initial consultation, we design a game plan to meet the needs of each couple. This plan generally includes three to five meetings (about once a month) before the Shadow Wedding ritual. Ideally, couples begin the process four to six months before they get married.

In our two-on-two meetings, we cover the following essential components of creating a Shadow Wedding:

  • Identify your shadow material
  • Create shadow vows out of that material
  • Design your Shadow Wedding ritual

Throughout the entire process, we maintain an emphasis on safety, kindness, and self-responsibility. This is tender ground for everyone, and we are mindful of the personal limits of those who participate. We encourage each couple to only go as deep as feels right for them.

Click below to read more about the steps.


From a Shadow Wedding witness:

"I had the privilege of attending Jim and Jessica's personal Shadow Wedding. What I witnessed that night made a believer out of me.

"The Shadow Wedding process is not for every couple. If you truly want to know yourself and your partner, if you appreciate depth and authenticity in relationship, and if you are not afraid to face the truth in order to create lasting connection, Jim and Jessica's Shadow Wedding ritual may be for you."

Jim Matto-Shepard, PhD
Psychologist in private practice and co-creator of After The Honeymoon